12/07/2005

Percocet Rules!

So, in honour of Joel's recent sex change operation, as which he'd prefer us to refer to... as... his wisdom tooth extraction, I'd like everyone to know that Joel is high as shit right now. Really high.

So, I've just finished my breakfast of yogurt and toast (silhouette peach - this yogurt is the fuckin bomb), and I'm off Christmas shopping (giftmas shopping, really).

But my brother, who plans on accompanying me, is thoroughly mired in a game of Final Fantasy Tactics. It may be a little difficult to extricate him from this, as he's just started a new game and is modeling his characters after some fairly boss dudes in this series of books. I guess that's good; he's makeing some pleased hooting noises right now. At least he's not playing Dance Dance Revolution, which I respect, but can't really play.

You know what? I entered the word 'fuckbeard' into Google image search and it came up with nine results, one of which was actually from blogspot.

Hey, he's done. Now he's playing an 80's side scroller called Strider 2, which is like Shinobi but with a cooler guy and terrible sounds. And it's not as frustrating to play, except for where it gets hard, which, like every part like that in every game, makes Rob go completely crazy. But it's one of those games where you only have like 5 hit points, and no matter how far you progress in the game, it doesn't alter the fact that a fucking four year old can walk up to you and kick you twice in each shin and once in the nuts, and you die. And it has these chicks that just stand there and still hurt you. Fuck, even in Mega Man you eventually become more powerful. God, the only good game like that was Earthworm Jim. Yeah, you heard me. Bubsy can suck on my ass, and so can Simon Pansy Belmont from Castlevania.

Okay, now he's bragging to me that he just beat a boss in two seconds just by pressing the button really fast -- what the fuck kind of game is this? If I wanted to press a button all fucking day, I'd get into theological conversations with Joel. Seriously, he just did it again. He walked up to a guy, one hand tapped the button for like 15 seconds, took two hits against his five hit points, and the thing turned into blue fog and went away. Gah, give me Gran Turismo amy time. At least Rob plays that now.

I have to go giftmas shopping now, but I'll probably watch Rob play Giant Flying Robot Ninja Pirate Monkey Monster Cheetos Madness VIII for a while.

1 Comments:

Blogger Junk in the Trunk said...

Wow, aparently whatever you're on is way better than the T-3's the dentist prescribed for me.

2:12 PM  

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