I met a man this week with what may be the best, or worst, job in the world.

He goes to many professional sports matches.

He gets in lots of fights.

He drinks profusely at all hours of the day.

And this is his CAREER.

The man that I met is, no shit, a professional soccer hooligan.

He works for a team called Falkirk, in Scotland. And here's the deal: When these teams have away games, they always go by bus, because Scotland is small. Say Falkirk goes to... Aberdeen. When they get there, Aberdeen has a bunch of guys there to beat the asses of Falkirk's players, so they'll lose. However, being the savvy professional sports organization they are, Falkirk has brought along a gang of hooligans (usually driven around by an ex-hooligan) to beat up the guys that were going to beat up the players, and then beat up some of Aberdeen's players, if they can. Apparently there are four buses that this particular team uses: one for family, one for management and older players that aren't interested in this shit, and TWO BUSES for the soccer team. Now, if a coach bus seats forty-odd people, and there are two buses, and a soccer team can only have eleven guys, and maybe five or six subs... sounds to me like we're bringing along sixty or seventy borderline psychopaths to make sure the lads get to the hotel okay.

This guy (claims to have) had his collarbone broken twice BY HORSES. Yes, that's right, the riots surrounding even exhibition matches commonly require the use of mounted riot police. Can you imagine what would happen here if the Leafs won the cup? And this is just fucking Tuesday night in Glasgow. Fuck.