Whither Go Thou, Jazz?
Dang.
Toronto's all fucked up. We just had this thunderstorm come through that had no real rain. I mean, we had like fifteen minutes of little spitty rain, but before that it looked like one of those crazy-ass wish-you-were-at-home-with-hot-chocolate-looking-out-the-window storms. The wind was amazing. On Dixon road, the leaves blowing down the street were passing the cars. It was windy enough to blow my fifteen-ton bus all over the goddamn place. And the best part?
It's Garbage Eve downtown.
Which means that all of Chinatown looks like New Year's Day in Times Square, except for the lack of vomit and the fact that all the signs are in Chinese. Still smells, though.
So, on to the post:
Why is it that a lot of music played on jazz radio stations really blows?
Now, before we really get into this, I'd like everyone to know that I have two really close friends who studied at the most prestigious music colleges in Canada, both with a definite jazz performance bent to their programs. I'd like their input, in fact. I want everybody's input, but I'm curious to see what they have to say. Meaning Andrew and Joel. So pony up, bitches.
Don't get me wrong; there's so much music that's fantastic, from artists we all know about to artists we've never heard of, but my question is this: If there are sixty-five million recorded jazz tunes in the world (and there are way more than that), and twenty thousand of them are good (and that's being generous), then why, on the radio, do they not filter out the shit? I don't need to hear the musical growth of some douchebag.
In rock music, you play clubs and release self-published EPs until you're good enough to do a full-length record, if that ever happens. In jazz music, you can run into two other musicians at Wendy's and leave with a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger and a double live recording of a club show. I've heard good indie jazz recordings. Andrew gave me one he did; it's in my car stereo right now. I don't hate everyone; I just hate shit.
Apart from the terrible DJs on jazz stations (it takes them so long to tell you what time it is that by the time they're done telling you, it's not that time any more), it'd be nice to be able to turn on the radio and hear a good tune. Not a good tune by somebody awesome that's been converted to samba and played by a tabla ensemble. Not a pretentious fifteen-minute pointless self-serving wankfest where they mic'd the crowd to get the applause between solos. If I wanted to hear the piano and the drums trading fours for a minute and a fucking half, I'd set my ears on fire and spend the afternoon falling down escalators, because that's what anyone who wants to hear that deserves.
Somebody please tell me how these dipshits get on the radio. They're not pushing any boundaries here; they played the same goddamn song as before, only it had a different title. Again, don't get me wrong, here. Of course every song is different; that's kind of the hallmark of jazz music. There's a basic chord and melody structure and over that is a basically improvised... everything. A great jazz performance is great because of the interaction between the players; the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. I've just been amazed at the colossal amount of shit that there is, as compared to the relatively rare nuggets of inspiration. It just blows my mind that in so many cases, a style of music that's almost the EXCLUSIVE province of educated musicians can be so trite and lame and... is it a sin to say boring? Is there something I'm missing? Have I not yet learned enough to like good music? I liked the Beatles when I was four years old. I've heard they're good.
And fuck off with the drum solos. There is no need for more than onedrum solo per show; even that is pushing it. If I go see a seventies rock band, I want a goddamn drum solo. Otherwise, feel free to surprise me with one, but keep it short, and interesting. Guy from Thornley threw down a brilliant one when we saw them at Bala. Maybe three minutes, probably not even that much, and he made me want to slit my wrists in pure, vicious jealousy.
I guess I just have a problem with music for music's sake. Music should not be made for music. Music should be made for people. Music should be fun and entertaining on some level, to the player AND to the listener. If you want to sit in your basement and have your little nerd jamfest, that's cool, but don't put it on the radio.
And I know, probably a lot of people like all the stuff I'm bitching about, but if I have a choice between the (insert someone's full name) Quintet and the Spin Doctors?
I got a pocketful of kryptonite.
Toronto's all fucked up. We just had this thunderstorm come through that had no real rain. I mean, we had like fifteen minutes of little spitty rain, but before that it looked like one of those crazy-ass wish-you-were-at-home-with-hot-chocolate-looking-out-the-window storms. The wind was amazing. On Dixon road, the leaves blowing down the street were passing the cars. It was windy enough to blow my fifteen-ton bus all over the goddamn place. And the best part?
It's Garbage Eve downtown.
Which means that all of Chinatown looks like New Year's Day in Times Square, except for the lack of vomit and the fact that all the signs are in Chinese. Still smells, though.
So, on to the post:
Why is it that a lot of music played on jazz radio stations really blows?
Now, before we really get into this, I'd like everyone to know that I have two really close friends who studied at the most prestigious music colleges in Canada, both with a definite jazz performance bent to their programs. I'd like their input, in fact. I want everybody's input, but I'm curious to see what they have to say. Meaning Andrew and Joel. So pony up, bitches.
Don't get me wrong; there's so much music that's fantastic, from artists we all know about to artists we've never heard of, but my question is this: If there are sixty-five million recorded jazz tunes in the world (and there are way more than that), and twenty thousand of them are good (and that's being generous), then why, on the radio, do they not filter out the shit? I don't need to hear the musical growth of some douchebag.
In rock music, you play clubs and release self-published EPs until you're good enough to do a full-length record, if that ever happens. In jazz music, you can run into two other musicians at Wendy's and leave with a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger and a double live recording of a club show. I've heard good indie jazz recordings. Andrew gave me one he did; it's in my car stereo right now. I don't hate everyone; I just hate shit.
Apart from the terrible DJs on jazz stations (it takes them so long to tell you what time it is that by the time they're done telling you, it's not that time any more), it'd be nice to be able to turn on the radio and hear a good tune. Not a good tune by somebody awesome that's been converted to samba and played by a tabla ensemble. Not a pretentious fifteen-minute pointless self-serving wankfest where they mic'd the crowd to get the applause between solos. If I wanted to hear the piano and the drums trading fours for a minute and a fucking half, I'd set my ears on fire and spend the afternoon falling down escalators, because that's what anyone who wants to hear that deserves.
Somebody please tell me how these dipshits get on the radio. They're not pushing any boundaries here; they played the same goddamn song as before, only it had a different title. Again, don't get me wrong, here. Of course every song is different; that's kind of the hallmark of jazz music. There's a basic chord and melody structure and over that is a basically improvised... everything. A great jazz performance is great because of the interaction between the players; the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. I've just been amazed at the colossal amount of shit that there is, as compared to the relatively rare nuggets of inspiration. It just blows my mind that in so many cases, a style of music that's almost the EXCLUSIVE province of educated musicians can be so trite and lame and... is it a sin to say boring? Is there something I'm missing? Have I not yet learned enough to like good music? I liked the Beatles when I was four years old. I've heard they're good.
And fuck off with the drum solos. There is no need for more than onedrum solo per show; even that is pushing it. If I go see a seventies rock band, I want a goddamn drum solo. Otherwise, feel free to surprise me with one, but keep it short, and interesting. Guy from Thornley threw down a brilliant one when we saw them at Bala. Maybe three minutes, probably not even that much, and he made me want to slit my wrists in pure, vicious jealousy.
I guess I just have a problem with music for music's sake. Music should not be made for music. Music should be made for people. Music should be fun and entertaining on some level, to the player AND to the listener. If you want to sit in your basement and have your little nerd jamfest, that's cool, but don't put it on the radio.
And I know, probably a lot of people like all the stuff I'm bitching about, but if I have a choice between the (insert someone's full name) Quintet and the Spin Doctors?
I got a pocketful of kryptonite.
posted by I am being paid to do this at 1:32 AM
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